I Hated that Girl in the Mirror…

Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, or maybe even said out loud, “I hate you, you’re stupid, you’re worthless, why do you even exist?” Have you ever completely stopped looking at your reflection because you couldn’t bear to face yourself? I have.

In the early years of motherhood, I hated myself so much that I couldn’t even bring myself to look in the mirror. And when I did, the words I spoke to myself were harsh and cruel. I would call myself all sorts of mean names—words that tore me down, piece by piece.

After my third child was born, I gained 45 pounds, and my self-esteem hit rock bottom. I was deeply depressed, all while trying to be “perfect.” But perfection? That’s a myth. I know that now, but back then, I believed it was something I had to achieve. The pursuit of perfection, though, only led to more frustration and self-loathing. It was a constant struggle for something I could never reach.

Looking back, I realize that the struggle was part of my journey—a journey that I didn’t understand at the time but needed in order to heal. I needed healing, but I wasn’t healing. I needed hope, but hope felt like something that was out of reach. I thought there was nothing anyone could do for me—this was something I had to fix on my own. Slowly, but surely, though, I began to seek help. I went back to school. I started doing what I now call “Growing.” I began to explore my relationship with God in a deeper way.

I thought I knew God before—His faithfulness, His provision, His guidance, His strength—but I hadn’t yet experienced Him as my Healer. And let me tell you, when I invited Him into my brokenness, He showed up in ways I never expected. Through prayer, reading Scripture, and opening my heart to Him, God found me in the midst of my mess. The healing began.

Perhaps one day I’ll share more of my story with you, but for now, I want to leave you with these words, hoping they’ll spark the beginning of your own healing journey.

To Heal, You Need Awareness

Healing begins with understanding what’s going on inside your heart and mind. Awareness is the first step to recognizing the wounds that need attention. You can’t begin to heal until you’re honest with yourself about the pain and the places that need restoration.

To Heal, You Need Time

Healing is not an overnight process. It’s not a quick fix or a destination. As John C. Maxwell wisely said, “Healing is a journey, not a destination.” It takes time. Allow yourself the grace to move at your own pace, step by step.

To Heal, You Need to Be Willing to Go Through the Process

There are no shortcuts to healing. The road might be long, and it will require your full commitment. But don’t let fear or impatience hold you back. Trust the process, even when it’s difficult. Growth happens in the waiting, in the uncomfortable spaces, in the moments where you feel like giving up but choose to keep going.

To Heal, You Need to Read, Learn, and Go the Extra Mile

Healing involves doing the work. It’s not just about hoping things will get better on their own; it’s about actively seeking knowledge, growing, and pushing yourself to go further than you thought you could. Whether it’s through books, therapy, or new experiences, commit to learning and expanding your understanding of yourself and your healing journey.

To Heal, You Need Jesus

I can’t say it enough: You need Jesus. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted, to bring comfort and restoration to those in pain. He is the ultimate Healer, and when you invite Him into your journey, He will meet you in your brokenness and restore you in ways you never imagined. He is with you, always, guiding you toward peace and healing.

So, I invite you to step into your healing journey today—one day at a time. You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t need to have it all figured out. Just take that first step, and trust that healing is possible.

You’ve got this, girl! Don’t give up. Every day is a new opportunity to grow, heal, and move forward. You are worthy of that healing. You are worthy of love, peace, and the fullness of life that God has planned for you. Keep going.

With Love,
Bertha Argueta